Twilight Zone

Hello? Is there anybody in there?

Paper Back Writer

It is very strange. I could just as well be writing on a blank piece of paper and then tear it to shreds. The theory is that their are more writers than readers. So many blogs and so little time. I have to get to work.

My story is a romantic comedy. I wrote it like it was the story I wanted to read. I want a story to make me laugh. I want a movie to make me laugh. One of the challenges for me

after 9-11 was for somebody to make me laugh. Nothing was funny to me anymore. The comedians I relied on were shooting blanks. Even after George Bush has retired, I find those entertainers were not so entertaining. A few voices do stand out. One is a famous talk show host who is a big lovable fuzz ball, the other is Dennis Miller. I used to watch him do the pseudo news on SNL. Dug him then. Pre 9-11 he used to do these shows on HBO. Bill Clinton was President. It was a different time. Miller used to go into a "rant" and the lighting would get dark and all of a sudden he was standing against a black background. His rants were frequently about something that had been bugging me. He would put it in such a way that you are shouting at the TV "Yeah! That's what I think!"

I have to cut this short. It's almost 9:00 am. That's when Dennis Miller is on, got to go.

I am back to work on my Queries. This time, I will be right to the point. This letter will be a quick read. I am going to tell what needs to said. Will it be so abrupt that it will be instantly rejected? No. There's no telling what won't be rejected. I must go check on Nathan Bransford's blog now. Progress report later.

Too Good To Be True

See. Now here it is. It's like this. Sure fill out a questionnaire. That would make it easy. Here's the deal. It ain't easy. Watch out! Do not be lulled in by the hypnotic trance. Be wary when you hear the mind numbing illusions that they think you might have what it takes and yes, they want to see your work. 

It is true, I was pulled in. Doesn't any one want to look at my work? I think it is good. Do your research. Look for things like; no address, sold to China, an "established" agency who has only four book deals?  What authors? What books? Huh?

I was going through my files on my attempts at writing a good query letter. Man, some of those early ones were week at best. I have been researching the subject. There is this basic thing the agents are looking for. Oo some say just the facts but try to be eloquent. Or don't get frilly just one page. Grab their attention. Don't try to get too personal. Leave your personality behind. This is business. From not knowing much, I do know there is a lot I continue to learn. 

Last night I filled out a questionnaire type query. I thought it was cool because the literary agency was helping by asking the questions that they wanted answers to. Nothing more nothing less. I might have failed a few questions. When I did the synopses, I was trying to be like the jacket cover of my story. 

So many times I stand in the airport bookstore desperately seeking something I want to read. I love intrigue, comedy, mystery, all with a good sprinkling of romance. I need that jacket cover on the book to tell me," read me." It is hit or miss, I need a book for the airplane ride. I have to tell you, my best score was a book by Jonathan Tropper "How to talk to a Widower". This is LOL. People next to me looking at me strange because of my LOL.

New year's resolution: Find an agent. Sell my art so I can help out our financial situation, write the second book of "The Big Thaw", it's called "Miner's Pass Miracles and Mysteries." 

I have had no time to devote to my pursuit of an agent or publishing. I have a new grand son. He is completely beautiful. I have been trying to be an artist who can sell paintings. I have sold some, they are little pieces for little pennies. My mind is pursuing outlines of my writing projects I have yet to write. I sort and catalog my ideas but still I merely run in place. Belief in my story gets chiseled away. Thoughts like, well maybe you just suck at writing like your sucky stupid paintings. Are my feet standing on solid ground believing anyone would give a s---t about my little novel? Does anyone hear? Hello? Is there anybody in there?

In "My Profile" I discuss my painter side. As the old adage goes, "Jack of All Trades, master of none" It was 1960 when I was eight years old and learning to paint with oils. The school I attended on weekends was this art school that was associated with The Indianapolis Art Museum which at the time was called The John Herron Art Museum. The school was run by young beatniks who would say "cool daddio" and they wore white smocks and black tights and berets. I wanted with all my heart to be like them, cool and a painter.

I think artists are driven by the need to have Mom put the little drawing they made on the refrigerator with those little magnets.

I'm not sure what motivates writers. Humans have a long history of needing to tell a story. It comes naturally. When I was a kid I wrote little poems. English class was my favorite subject. The teachers would tell us to write something. 

With some of my heart I want to write. Some of my heart because I have to divvy out my heart. I started to learn guitar in eighth grade. Soon that was all my heart.

Life gets in the way of childhood dreams. These dreams don't manifest themselves in reality. Dreams don't pay bills and raise children. 

I've written songs (many), stories, novels, plays and musicals. I bring this up because when you try to find an agent it's "List your published work." This is where I make the Lucy face(I Love Lucy) and go "Ew-illll huh-oh." 

I've already dealt with "You want to show your paintings here? Really! We do art here!"

So "We are sorry to say no." is not new territory for me.

The continuing adventures of Joan wrote a novel

My eyes are spinning from all the reading on "How to find an agent." Today I put another notch on my looser belt of rejections. It has not been that many, so far about four, but talking about taking the wind out of your sails. I have pained over "How to write a query letter" to where I think I really don't know how. If I knew how then why wouldn't these people be bowled over by my exquisite example of a letter? I swear, I've tried something different every time.